HAPPINESS YOUR AMAZING LIFE SERIES

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Happiness is a topic that is greatly debated. What brings it, how do we keep it, and why does it seem so elusive? 

First of all, what is happiness? Is it having the right job, the right relationship, having or not having children, looking the right way and living the right lifestyle? You can see how subjective happiness is.

If happiness is contingent on everything lining up just right, no wonder it seems out of reach most of the time. The wealthy with no wants can be miserable, and the poor can be full of joy. So, let’s agree that happiness has nothing to do with stuff. 

What if being loved is the answer? “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved” — George Sand.

Again, it seems we are judging happiness by something outside of ourselves. I’m not discounting love; I believe it is a vital element of happiness. It is our expectation of love that can leave us believing we are missing something. There is a place inside that gets filled up with light and joy when someone says how wonderful and special you are. When that is taken away, pain replaces that happy feeling. So, that can’t really be the answer.

What else do we believe about happiness? Think about your own experience with happiness. Does it come and go? Do you have those days when you are just in the dumps and you know nothing is going to go right? Haven’t you had enough bad days? 

Here’s the truth. Happiness is not contingent on anyone or anything. The reality is that nothing around you really has to change for you to be happy all the time. 

Here are five secrets to happiness:

1. Spend time understanding your past. What you experienced as a child can be impacting your life, even as an adult. What did you come to believe about yourself as a child that holds you back as you live your life? These blocks can be very real and keeping you from feeling true happiness. It’s possible to understand these blocks and let them go. If you need help, find a wise counselor or coach who can help you to discover and release these.
   
   
2. Forgive. It is not negotiable who you forgive. Everyone has a path they are on. You have made mistakes, and so have they. Some wrongs seem so deep it is unimaginable to forgive them. You forgive more for you than for anyone else. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone the act the other has made, it means you have moved to a higher place in your growth. Anger and resentment holds you back from moving forward and living in a better space. Without forgiving others and yourself, true ongoing happiness cannot exist.
   
   
3. Now it’s time for the big one. You must love yourself. This love is not changeable. No matter where you are in life’s path, you can love yourself. Look at the way you talk to yourself; is it negative? I know people who talk to themselves the way they would never talk to other people. It’s harsh and judgmental. Do you find yourself saying unkind things to you? The words, “I’m stupid, I’m ugly, I’m clumsy,” should never be part of the way you talk to yourself. The more you say it, the more you lock it in and start to believe this about yourself. Change the messages you are saying to yourself. Create a statement you use every time the old negativity track starts to play. Love yourself first, and then that love encompasses others. Being loved by others becomes an added joy rather than a necessity of happiness.
   
   
4. Begin every day reminding yourself of your value and greatness. Over time, this becomes the new belief of who you are. This should not be mistaken with conceit. It is true that there is no one of greater worth than you, but there is also no one of less worth than you. What a revelation to know that you are on the same plane as everyone else around you. Success or failure doesn’t change your value as a human being.
   
   
5. Finally, find the things in life that bring you fulfillment. You are the only judge of what your purpose and path should be. Ask the questions that lead you to who you want to associate and work with and how you contribute to the world. Follow your heart.

You are the sole source of your own happiness. You can build everything you need to be consistently happy when you know what that foundation is and always stand on it. ​

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